bangka yaki

wanna write how I spent last and first few days of 2023 and 2024

sissy #2 just went home.

on Christmas eve, I had to skip annual visit to my dad's because I had night shift so yea.

I slept most of the day on December 25th. Had to do the morning shift on the next day :)

And finally I had a day off! Went to Linow Tomohon and Boulevard Tondano with sissy #2 and her lil family (bang Tian and Thias). It was soo fun <33

December 28th, I would say this is the worst day of the year (well besides 3 chaotic events on June, October, and November).

Another night shift on December 29th (tbh I was quite relieved when I got the last paycheck like, bujug banyak bener ganyangka segini ehe) and went to Pal Beach in the next morning (alias ngantuk bgt but I HAD SO MUCH FUN LIKE I ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO THE BEACH LATELY) and met up with my high school bffs afterward <33 (kinda amazed seeing Clarien became a mom like she's basically a mother (alias keibuan dan super-baik) tp pas gendong Caitlyn makin keliatan her motherly figure ahaha <333)

And on New Year's Eve I had morning shift (super grateful tbh because I spent the night going to church and the rest with family, aga sedih liat Regi malam taun baruan di UGD mana dia ultah lg)

ANOTHER morning shift on January 1st dan lucunya aku lupa bawa kacamata dong saking ngantuknya haha

And one the second day of 2024 I went to Bumber cafe yg super keren I love outdoorsy cafe feeling like menyatu dengan alam (norak)

*p.s: sampe sekarang belum ke kubur papa like, beliau sampe udh dateng di mimpi beberapa kali, so sorry Dad, next visit I will bring you flower bucket deh janji <33

*p.s.: got mumps last week and viral conjunctivitis this week, thank God I have two days-off, gonna be busy next week :')

no way down

 I KNOW this is just early November.

but I just want to do it right now so

so

2023

me turned 30.

still gloomy, still clumsy, still a crybaby.

I went through a few mistakes in my werkplace, which makes me think, is this the right way?

I always wanted to continue to school

Maybe it's time. (brb nabung)

honorable mentions:

• love the Barbie movie, so relatable on so many levels lol
• still single, obviously.
• 2 years without dad. Always miss him<33
• and also 2 years behind the wheel. still suck at it, I even can't do parallel parking.
• but, me reaching this point, to be honest, was unexpected (dulu fobia nyetir ceritanya)

bye

*p.s.: currently day 90 on Duolingo (only learning Spanish)

last 30s

 kemaren ultah sissy #1 yang ke-39.

perempuan sulung. lahir di Surabaya karena papa kerja serabutan di sana. 

kami beda 9 tahun, jadi waktu aku TK-B doi udah kelas 2 SMP.

aku inget jaman kecil dulu ngeliat kak Olan (that's how we called her) orangnya ansos (kayak aku sekarang), hobinya marah-marah, diem di kamar, tapi di sisi lain suka liat dia nulis buku catetan belajarnya yang warna-warni dan rapi.

sekarang udah punya sepasang buah hati umur 8 dan 5 tahun, kerja jadi umbi mateng (wkwk maksudnya udah lama jadi pi-in-es) dan baru memulai S2. hobinya alay di sosmed (aku ga temenan di FB dan cuma followan IG di second account) tapi mungkin that's how she deals with life aka cara healing hemat mengurangi stres.

beda ama sissy #2 di mana kami kompak banget karena beda karakter (pengertian dan lucu), sebenernya cara kami menunjukkan rasa sayang beda aja kali ya. intinya aku sayang mereka berdua <33

yang mau aku bahas sebenernya masih soal early midlife crisis (sok iye lu yan).

tentunya aku sangat beruntung punya dua kakak perempuan karena banyak pengalaman yang bisa aku ambil dari mereka, misalnya ga usah buru-buru memikirkan socalled pasangan KARENA MENIKAH ITU SULIT alias butuh effort maksimal, komitmen, dan paling penting adalah komunikasi yang efektif. plus biaya juga penting banget.

keadaanku sekarang di mana aku dokter umum part-time di 1 RS deket rumah, masih punya 2 slot mencari rejeki tapi mengingat aku memulai kerja aja butuh waktu lama banget buat adaptasi (dan super bersyukur semuanya ini juga berkat dorongan keluarga dan teman-teman), mau sekolah lagi rasanya berat secara mental dan biaya, dan emang belum ada kesempatan aja.

intinya untuk saat ini aku sedang ada di zona nyaman (walau kadang jaga hectic suka misuh-misuh, tapi namanya juga pekerjaan yak)

mau keluar, takut mental breakdown parah lagi seperti yang lalu-lalu. sampe kadang suka ngingetin diri ini yang kadang impulsifnya ga ngotak untuk berhenti ngehalu.

dah dulu.