hello, my blog. So, on 20th you will be turn 10. But I will be busy at that day. School-thing, as usual. But I will try to reach you when I had time.
So, I just finished watching netflix series called 13 Reasons Why. This is one of the best series I ever watched. The storyline is intense, the main characters' acting is incredible, and a little bit relatable with my current life. I know this is the story of high-school life, but yea, It's really a cool story. This series is based on a book, 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. I never read the book, but If I went to gramedia and the book is available, I will buy it for sure ;)
Uhm, how to tell it without spoilers...
Hannah Baker, a new girl in Liberty High School ended up her own life, and before she did that, she recorded her story into cassettes, there are 7 cassettes and 13 sides and each sides tells story about a person and reason why she killed herself. The main character in here is Hannah's friend and co-worker at Crestmont theater, Clay Jensen. I really like the potrayal of this character, he is a regular boy, a little bit awkward and nerdy, but also really kind. So the series storyline's perspective is on Clay when he listens to all of the cassettes.
On my personal opinion, there is nothing to blame about especially to Hannah. She is the victim of this cruel world, cruel people around her. My high school life was thankfully normal, maybe there are some problems but it went well at all. I have much bigger problem in adulthood life, I'm feeling like I never ready to grow up. I trapped in some things that I don't actually like, but I don't know where else to go. No, I won't do the same thing as Hannah Baker did, I don't have money to buy a tape recorder, my sister used to have that thing 10 years ago tho.
I'm trying to keep my mental state as stable as possible. I have some dreams to be achieved. Eventhough it's hard, but this is life. It will be weird yet wrong if it goes easy.
15.4.17
20.3.17
one month to ten years
hari ini tanggal 20.
kepalaku lagi sakit, berasa ciut, aku lagi nangis, tapi ini udah reda.
di luar lagi hujan. aku benci hujan. tapi kalau panas terik, alergi di tanganku bisa kambuh.
aku ga tau apakah aku benar-benar depresi atau gimana, tapi, aku memang lagi depresi.
aku ngerasa ga sanggup lagi ngejalanin kehidupan ini. terlalu berat. dari dulu aku udah berusaha untuk tetap kuat, tetap menjalani kehidupan dengan penuh semangat, tapi tetep aja, sifat pesimis membayangi hidupku.
kemarin denger kasus bunuh diri di jawa, orang bilang katanya kalo orang depresi denger bisa menginspirasi mereka. kebetulan aku lagi depresi. well, justru enggak sih. malah aku makin terinspirasi untuk tetap hidup, even menjadi antonim dari bunuh diri, yaitu lahir kembali.
ga ada hubungannya. buatku. kalo denger berita bunuh diri, aku ga peduli. tentunya aku prihatin, tetapi itu ga menginspirasi aku untuk melakukannya juga.
cuma ya aku sedih banget sekarang. berasa ga berguna. mau ngapa-ngapain ga ada semangat. ini aku buka notebook kecilku yg udah lama ga aku pake juga tumben banget, karena baterainya habis, jadi lagi ngetik ini sambil notebooknya dicas.
hari ini tanggal 20. sebulan lagi aku tepat 10 tahun ngeblog. blog ini terlalu sepi, dan juga tidak aku promosiin, karena isinya agak-agak pribadi.
aku butuh sesuatu supaya hidupku kembali seperti dulu. walau penuh dengan keluh kesah, tapi setidaknya ga "mendung" kayak sekarang.
kepalaku lagi sakit, berasa ciut, aku lagi nangis, tapi ini udah reda.
di luar lagi hujan. aku benci hujan. tapi kalau panas terik, alergi di tanganku bisa kambuh.
aku ga tau apakah aku benar-benar depresi atau gimana, tapi, aku memang lagi depresi.
aku ngerasa ga sanggup lagi ngejalanin kehidupan ini. terlalu berat. dari dulu aku udah berusaha untuk tetap kuat, tetap menjalani kehidupan dengan penuh semangat, tapi tetep aja, sifat pesimis membayangi hidupku.
kemarin denger kasus bunuh diri di jawa, orang bilang katanya kalo orang depresi denger bisa menginspirasi mereka. kebetulan aku lagi depresi. well, justru enggak sih. malah aku makin terinspirasi untuk tetap hidup, even menjadi antonim dari bunuh diri, yaitu lahir kembali.
ga ada hubungannya. buatku. kalo denger berita bunuh diri, aku ga peduli. tentunya aku prihatin, tetapi itu ga menginspirasi aku untuk melakukannya juga.
cuma ya aku sedih banget sekarang. berasa ga berguna. mau ngapa-ngapain ga ada semangat. ini aku buka notebook kecilku yg udah lama ga aku pake juga tumben banget, karena baterainya habis, jadi lagi ngetik ini sambil notebooknya dicas.
hari ini tanggal 20. sebulan lagi aku tepat 10 tahun ngeblog. blog ini terlalu sepi, dan juga tidak aku promosiin, karena isinya agak-agak pribadi.
aku butuh sesuatu supaya hidupku kembali seperti dulu. walau penuh dengan keluh kesah, tapi setidaknya ga "mendung" kayak sekarang.
8.3.17
I just turned 24 years old
Happy Birthday to me! This is too early in the morning, I already woke up, I have TOEFL test this morning yet I'm not ready for it because I don't study at all, just look up at this fucking grammar, I should eat so I can take some pills because I'm sick, etcetera.
I actually got nothing to tell about. Okay, I've been living for 24 years old for now, just started a new age today, still healthy all over my body, not quite 100 % on the inside because I've been living with depression, but my mind still worked out normally tho.
Today is also the International Women's Day, which is cool.
Oh gosh have no idea what to type in now. I gotta go now, bye!
I actually got nothing to tell about. Okay, I've been living for 24 years old for now, just started a new age today, still healthy all over my body, not quite 100 % on the inside because I've been living with depression, but my mind still worked out normally tho.
Today is also the International Women's Day, which is cool.
Oh gosh have no idea what to type in now. I gotta go now, bye!
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