I don't know why, I'm enjoying my days greet sick children, so they want us to do examination on them. Some of them crying immediately when they see white coat human being, got traumatize by needle. I even found a 5 year-old girl literally cursing when we came to her. Many of them are still babies and quite calm and had such a smiley face. Feeling like this was the another thing to enjoyed.
So.. what's going on? 3 months later to finished this hardcore year evur in my life.
I'm on my quarter-life crisis.
I'm trying to holding on.
Eventhou this is just too hard. like, to, hard.
BUT I MUST KEEP GOIN
Showing posts with label life sucks. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life sucks. Show all posts
25.9.18
29.8.18
up up up
sometimes when you think about life...
when something that "seems" bad happened.
but actually it has another meaning to it
the more I grew up, the more I think that I've been doing wrong for all of my entire life.
why is this happened?
why life is so unfair?
I even lost my future visions. Don't know why.
I;m trying to fix all of these things but still. it's hard. and not easy. of course.
but in the end, I hope, and I must be sure that, all is well.
when something that "seems" bad happened.
but actually it has another meaning to it
the more I grew up, the more I think that I've been doing wrong for all of my entire life.
why is this happened?
why life is so unfair?
I even lost my future visions. Don't know why.
I;m trying to fix all of these things but still. it's hard. and not easy. of course.
but in the end, I hope, and I must be sure that, all is well.
31.7.17
udah cukup. berhenti bermimpi. diem aja.
mengakhiri hari terakhir, jam-jam terakhir di bulan Juli ini, aku menyempatkan diri menulis disini.
besok itu adalah hari dimana, sebuah transisi akan berlangsung. yang sesungguhnya aku cemaskan. yang sesungguhnya aku kuatirkan. aku ga excited sama sekali. sama sekali tidak menunggu hari esok.
mungkin sih aku berubah pikiran. mungkin. mungkin banget. udah cukup beberapa tahun terakhir hidupku bener-bener kayak roller coaster, jungkir balik tak karuan. jika kebanyakan orang menyesal akan keputusan yang tidak diambil, aku justru sedang mengalami sesuatu yang berlawanan dengan hal itu. dan makin hari, makin complicatedlah isi pikiranku.
basically, I think my whole life is a lie.
eventho, I'm still hoping for the best.
besok itu adalah hari dimana, sebuah transisi akan berlangsung. yang sesungguhnya aku cemaskan. yang sesungguhnya aku kuatirkan. aku ga excited sama sekali. sama sekali tidak menunggu hari esok.
mungkin sih aku berubah pikiran. mungkin. mungkin banget. udah cukup beberapa tahun terakhir hidupku bener-bener kayak roller coaster, jungkir balik tak karuan. jika kebanyakan orang menyesal akan keputusan yang tidak diambil, aku justru sedang mengalami sesuatu yang berlawanan dengan hal itu. dan makin hari, makin complicatedlah isi pikiranku.
basically, I think my whole life is a lie.
eventho, I'm still hoping for the best.
26.5.17
Rangkuman pertengahan tahun 2017
Tahun ini tidak bisa dibilang baik. Karena outside of my tiny little life, ada banyak hal yang terjadi. Sebagai orang yang tidak menyukai pertikaian, hal ini membuatku terlalu sedih. Aku sedih akan apa yang terjadi di dunia ini.
Di dunia kecilku, hal-hal terbesar yang terjadi adalah; aku wisuda. Tanggal 20, bulan 2. Tanggal kesukaanku, bulan kesukaanku, tanggal dan bulan kesukaanku karena lagi Pisces month huehue. Aku belum ulang tahun, jadi masih 23 tahun. Saat itu kepalaku pusing banget gara-gara kurang tidur dan belum makan, ditambah mata kiriku bengkak gara-gara nangis terus beberapa hari sebelum hari H. Make-upnya kinda ga memuaskan karena aku juga ga research dulu, tinggal iya-iya aja soalnya ajus yang nyariin. Dasarnya juga mukaku kayak buntelan, jadi bener-bener gokil. Go-kill. Tapi rambutnya oke sih.
Hal terbesar kedua adalah untuk pertamakalinyaaku naik pesawat, tujuannya jauh, dan ada transit. Pertama kali naik pesawat sendiri tahun lalu, hari terakhir di usiaku yang ke 22, tapi pesawatnya ga pake transit, jadi "ga greget" "sebenernya greget juga soalnya aku sempet panik karena antrian check-in kaga ada layar tujuannya akhirnya nanya-nanya orang yang ngantri. ewh. Dan rasanya naik pesawat jauh sendirian itu gimana? Pas manado-jakarta, aku udah seneng duduk di window seat, eh, pas aku nyampe udah ada anak kecil yang duduk ama bapaknya, yaudah aku ngalah duduk di aisle. Terus aku kan duduk di nomor awal, jadi posisinya di depan gitu, di belakangku ada rombongan anak-anak yang mau ikut kejuaraan karate kayaknya, bareng ama senpai mereka. Dan, aku bukan berasa naik pesawat, tapi naik bis kota. SOALNYA MEREKA RIBUUUUT. Ngeselin tapi sebenernya menghibur juga.
Hal ketiga, terjadi pergejolakkan di dalam jiwaku. Kacau banget. Ga ada yang tahu soalnya it's from my inner self jadi ya begitulah. Sekarang sih udah mendingan walau masih tetep aja, kacau. Akhir-akhir ini malah dunia yang lagi kacau. Jadi seimbang lah :'(
What's goin' on lately adalah aku lagi ngefans ama Katya Zamo, ketika suatu malam aku ga bisa tidur akhirnya marathon RPDR season 7 di youtube, udah layarnya gelap, kecil, audionya kalo ga kayak suara tukang jual bakso pake boraks di acara Investigasi, malah kayak Chipmunks. Setelah nonton banyak video wawancara doi di youtube, aku jadi tahu doi bukan sekedar drag queen, tapi seorang yang, aduh aku ga ngerti lagi, Isi pikirannya itu kompleks, cocok jadi motivator, pembicara, pokoknya kalo denger doi ngomong tuh enak. Berkarakter banget lah. Ga heran jadi all time fan favorite (kalo ga salah ya).
Yang kedua adalah, aku memaksakan diriku terjun ke dalam dunia Game of Thrones karena abang Katya. hehe. Selama ini aku ga pernah into GoT soalnya aku cepat bosan, kalo nonton satu episode TV Series yang 10 menit ga menarik, bakal ga aku lanjutin. Selama ini aku tertarik hanya pada Malcolm in the Middle karena dari awal nonton di TV udah suka banget, kocak dan humornya cocok ama seleraku, kemudian Parks and Recreation, walau aku belum nonton semua season, tapi sama, aku suka aja, dan Arrested Development. Jokesnya luar biasa!!!! Hehe.
Setelah nonton 3 episodes, seru juga ternyata. Ditambah pas kemarin aku nonton King Arthur di bioskop (dan aku heran kenapa reviewnya negatif padahal filmnya seru kok), aku terkesima ama Irish actor, Aidan Gillen yang berperan sebagai Goosefat, yang hobinya senyum dan jago memanah, dan ternyata doi main di GoT juga, yaudah deh makin pengen terusin nonton.
This is another weird thing about me, aku suka tiba-tiba mengidolakan sesuatu namun kemudian cepat bosan juga. Seperti misalnya aku research tentang Jason Bateman (setelah aku nonton Arrested Development dimana ia adalah leading rolenya), aku nonton semua film dan TV series yang beliau perankan mulai dari waktu dia masih belum puber di Silver Spoon, lagi puber di It's Your Move, lalu jadi figuran di the Sweetest Thing, kemudian Hancock, The Switch (yang bagus banget!!), hingga film yang ia sutradarai dan perankan sendiri seperti Bad Words yang kocak dan The Family Fang. (And don't forget Zootopia, film kartun paling keren dan deep), tapi ga lama kemudian aku mulai bosan dan mungkin juga karena udah puas melakukan research jadi ya berhenti. Tahun ini kayaknya ada serial baru lagi judulnya Ozark yang ga sabar pengen aku tonton hehe.
Dan lagi, karena babang Katya juga, aku jadi pengen nonton Twin Peaks! Kebetulan banget yang season 3 tahun ini udah ada, jadi paaaaaaaas banget timingnya ;) (butuh kuota internet huhu)
Sekian curhatan panjang kali ini. See ya next time!
Di dunia kecilku, hal-hal terbesar yang terjadi adalah; aku wisuda. Tanggal 20, bulan 2. Tanggal kesukaanku, bulan kesukaanku, tanggal dan bulan kesukaanku karena lagi Pisces month huehue. Aku belum ulang tahun, jadi masih 23 tahun. Saat itu kepalaku pusing banget gara-gara kurang tidur dan belum makan, ditambah mata kiriku bengkak gara-gara nangis terus beberapa hari sebelum hari H. Make-upnya kinda ga memuaskan karena aku juga ga research dulu, tinggal iya-iya aja soalnya ajus yang nyariin. Dasarnya juga mukaku kayak buntelan, jadi bener-bener gokil. Go-kill. Tapi rambutnya oke sih.
Hal terbesar kedua adalah untuk pertamakalinyaaku naik pesawat, tujuannya jauh, dan ada transit. Pertama kali naik pesawat sendiri tahun lalu, hari terakhir di usiaku yang ke 22, tapi pesawatnya ga pake transit, jadi "ga greget" "sebenernya greget juga soalnya aku sempet panik karena antrian check-in kaga ada layar tujuannya akhirnya nanya-nanya orang yang ngantri. ewh. Dan rasanya naik pesawat jauh sendirian itu gimana? Pas manado-jakarta, aku udah seneng duduk di window seat, eh, pas aku nyampe udah ada anak kecil yang duduk ama bapaknya, yaudah aku ngalah duduk di aisle. Terus aku kan duduk di nomor awal, jadi posisinya di depan gitu, di belakangku ada rombongan anak-anak yang mau ikut kejuaraan karate kayaknya, bareng ama senpai mereka. Dan, aku bukan berasa naik pesawat, tapi naik bis kota. SOALNYA MEREKA RIBUUUUT. Ngeselin tapi sebenernya menghibur juga.
Hal ketiga, terjadi pergejolakkan di dalam jiwaku. Kacau banget. Ga ada yang tahu soalnya it's from my inner self jadi ya begitulah. Sekarang sih udah mendingan walau masih tetep aja, kacau. Akhir-akhir ini malah dunia yang lagi kacau. Jadi seimbang lah :'(
What's goin' on lately adalah aku lagi ngefans ama Katya Zamo, ketika suatu malam aku ga bisa tidur akhirnya marathon RPDR season 7 di youtube, udah layarnya gelap, kecil, audionya kalo ga kayak suara tukang jual bakso pake boraks di acara Investigasi, malah kayak Chipmunks. Setelah nonton banyak video wawancara doi di youtube, aku jadi tahu doi bukan sekedar drag queen, tapi seorang yang, aduh aku ga ngerti lagi, Isi pikirannya itu kompleks, cocok jadi motivator, pembicara, pokoknya kalo denger doi ngomong tuh enak. Berkarakter banget lah. Ga heran jadi all time fan favorite (kalo ga salah ya).
Yang kedua adalah, aku memaksakan diriku terjun ke dalam dunia Game of Thrones karena abang Katya. hehe. Selama ini aku ga pernah into GoT soalnya aku cepat bosan, kalo nonton satu episode TV Series yang 10 menit ga menarik, bakal ga aku lanjutin. Selama ini aku tertarik hanya pada Malcolm in the Middle karena dari awal nonton di TV udah suka banget, kocak dan humornya cocok ama seleraku, kemudian Parks and Recreation, walau aku belum nonton semua season, tapi sama, aku suka aja, dan Arrested Development. Jokesnya luar biasa!!!! Hehe.
Setelah nonton 3 episodes, seru juga ternyata. Ditambah pas kemarin aku nonton King Arthur di bioskop (dan aku heran kenapa reviewnya negatif padahal filmnya seru kok), aku terkesima ama Irish actor, Aidan Gillen yang berperan sebagai Goosefat, yang hobinya senyum dan jago memanah, dan ternyata doi main di GoT juga, yaudah deh makin pengen terusin nonton.
This is another weird thing about me, aku suka tiba-tiba mengidolakan sesuatu namun kemudian cepat bosan juga. Seperti misalnya aku research tentang Jason Bateman (setelah aku nonton Arrested Development dimana ia adalah leading rolenya), aku nonton semua film dan TV series yang beliau perankan mulai dari waktu dia masih belum puber di Silver Spoon, lagi puber di It's Your Move, lalu jadi figuran di the Sweetest Thing, kemudian Hancock, The Switch (yang bagus banget!!), hingga film yang ia sutradarai dan perankan sendiri seperti Bad Words yang kocak dan The Family Fang. (And don't forget Zootopia, film kartun paling keren dan deep), tapi ga lama kemudian aku mulai bosan dan mungkin juga karena udah puas melakukan research jadi ya berhenti. Tahun ini kayaknya ada serial baru lagi judulnya Ozark yang ga sabar pengen aku tonton hehe.
Dan lagi, karena babang Katya juga, aku jadi pengen nonton Twin Peaks! Kebetulan banget yang season 3 tahun ini udah ada, jadi paaaaaaaas banget timingnya ;) (butuh kuota internet huhu)
Sekian curhatan panjang kali ini. See ya next time!
15.4.17
13 reasons why
hello, my blog. So, on 20th you will be turn 10. But I will be busy at that day. School-thing, as usual. But I will try to reach you when I had time.
So, I just finished watching netflix series called 13 Reasons Why. This is one of the best series I ever watched. The storyline is intense, the main characters' acting is incredible, and a little bit relatable with my current life. I know this is the story of high-school life, but yea, It's really a cool story. This series is based on a book, 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. I never read the book, but If I went to gramedia and the book is available, I will buy it for sure ;)
Uhm, how to tell it without spoilers...
Hannah Baker, a new girl in Liberty High School ended up her own life, and before she did that, she recorded her story into cassettes, there are 7 cassettes and 13 sides and each sides tells story about a person and reason why she killed herself. The main character in here is Hannah's friend and co-worker at Crestmont theater, Clay Jensen. I really like the potrayal of this character, he is a regular boy, a little bit awkward and nerdy, but also really kind. So the series storyline's perspective is on Clay when he listens to all of the cassettes.
On my personal opinion, there is nothing to blame about especially to Hannah. She is the victim of this cruel world, cruel people around her. My high school life was thankfully normal, maybe there are some problems but it went well at all. I have much bigger problem in adulthood life, I'm feeling like I never ready to grow up. I trapped in some things that I don't actually like, but I don't know where else to go. No, I won't do the same thing as Hannah Baker did, I don't have money to buy a tape recorder, my sister used to have that thing 10 years ago tho.
I'm trying to keep my mental state as stable as possible. I have some dreams to be achieved. Eventhough it's hard, but this is life. It will be weird yet wrong if it goes easy.
So, I just finished watching netflix series called 13 Reasons Why. This is one of the best series I ever watched. The storyline is intense, the main characters' acting is incredible, and a little bit relatable with my current life. I know this is the story of high-school life, but yea, It's really a cool story. This series is based on a book, 13 Reasons Why by Jay Asher. I never read the book, but If I went to gramedia and the book is available, I will buy it for sure ;)
Uhm, how to tell it without spoilers...
Hannah Baker, a new girl in Liberty High School ended up her own life, and before she did that, she recorded her story into cassettes, there are 7 cassettes and 13 sides and each sides tells story about a person and reason why she killed herself. The main character in here is Hannah's friend and co-worker at Crestmont theater, Clay Jensen. I really like the potrayal of this character, he is a regular boy, a little bit awkward and nerdy, but also really kind. So the series storyline's perspective is on Clay when he listens to all of the cassettes.
On my personal opinion, there is nothing to blame about especially to Hannah. She is the victim of this cruel world, cruel people around her. My high school life was thankfully normal, maybe there are some problems but it went well at all. I have much bigger problem in adulthood life, I'm feeling like I never ready to grow up. I trapped in some things that I don't actually like, but I don't know where else to go. No, I won't do the same thing as Hannah Baker did, I don't have money to buy a tape recorder, my sister used to have that thing 10 years ago tho.
I'm trying to keep my mental state as stable as possible. I have some dreams to be achieved. Eventhough it's hard, but this is life. It will be weird yet wrong if it goes easy.
14.2.17
Valentine's Day 2017
Happy Valentine's Day!
Pink, Love is in the Air, Chocolate, Dinner for two, etcetera..
What about myself?
Nothing special. I woke up late, but I have nothing to do so I just playing games on my tablet, scrolling around social medias, and tonight, writing on my beloved blog! It's too hard to force myself to write, because when I'm not on my mood, the post will be not quite good. Basically all my posts aren't good enough tho.
I want to throwing back the February 14th on few years ago....
I will start on 2010. 7 years ago. I'm in love, with one of my schoolmate. But it feels like, one sided love. So the feeling was starting to be vanished. Me and my best friend, Ain, went to a mall, which I really missed about, hanging out with best friend. And the night we were watching basketball competition. I really missed going out at night because I moved to new house and it's kinda far from the city.
2011 is the hectic one. On Sunday, February 13th, me and my best friend, Ain, made homemade chocolate to my friend's house. And the result is failed. Later on, I decided to buy some chocolates in the supermarket instead. And at the D-day, I gave one of the chocolate to one of my crush. Well it's kinda embarassing but it was also hilarious. Same as my crush before, nothing really happened so, yeah. I know, my lovelife sucks.
2012, I spent the night on my friend's room doing group assignment. Me and Sharon went home on 9pm at night, the traffic was a little bit crowded, but I arrived home safely.
And honestly I don't remember the years after, beside on one day, I buy a lot of chunky bars and eat it all BY MY SELF.
the point is, this few years is even worst than one sided love. I mean, at least I had some interesting things to share eventho that's painful. Nevertheless, I don't care about valentine's day anymore. For now.
Yea. Life is boring. So do this post. Bye
Pink, Love is in the Air, Chocolate, Dinner for two, etcetera..
What about myself?
Nothing special. I woke up late, but I have nothing to do so I just playing games on my tablet, scrolling around social medias, and tonight, writing on my beloved blog! It's too hard to force myself to write, because when I'm not on my mood, the post will be not quite good. Basically all my posts aren't good enough tho.
I want to throwing back the February 14th on few years ago....
I will start on 2010. 7 years ago. I'm in love, with one of my schoolmate. But it feels like, one sided love. So the feeling was starting to be vanished. Me and my best friend, Ain, went to a mall, which I really missed about, hanging out with best friend. And the night we were watching basketball competition. I really missed going out at night because I moved to new house and it's kinda far from the city.
2011 is the hectic one. On Sunday, February 13th, me and my best friend, Ain, made homemade chocolate to my friend's house. And the result is failed. Later on, I decided to buy some chocolates in the supermarket instead. And at the D-day, I gave one of the chocolate to one of my crush. Well it's kinda embarassing but it was also hilarious. Same as my crush before, nothing really happened so, yeah. I know, my lovelife sucks.
2012, I spent the night on my friend's room doing group assignment. Me and Sharon went home on 9pm at night, the traffic was a little bit crowded, but I arrived home safely.
And honestly I don't remember the years after, beside on one day, I buy a lot of chunky bars and eat it all BY MY SELF.
the point is, this few years is even worst than one sided love. I mean, at least I had some interesting things to share eventho that's painful. Nevertheless, I don't care about valentine's day anymore. For now.
Yea. Life is boring. So do this post. Bye
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