merry fucking christmas!

I DON'T WANT A LOT FOR CHRISTMAS...................


honestly yang aku suka dari "christmas moments" itu justru malam natalnya, bukan hari natalnya.


coz i'm a night person, malam itu identik dengan christmas lights, dan biasanya malam hari kami sekeluarga ngumpul buat foto bareng sehabis ibadah


malam ini (alias kemarin, tanggal 24) sangat hectic u kno


aku pulang stase jam 5 sore (walau udah disuruh pulang dari jam 4), terus karena ada futsal dan deket tempat stase, maka ku jalan ke sana.


baru berani minta izin ke pak boss jam 6 sore


cuaca mendung, pesan gojek gadapet2, akhirnya dapet gocar 82rebu (yang biasanya 30ribuan paling mihil) dan drivernya seniorku tapi karena lagi mumet jadi ku ga ajak dese ngobrol


sampe rumah udah jam 7 malem, cuma cuci muka ganti baju semprot parfum, langsung nyabs ke gereja



hari ini, hari natal, ku cuma keluar ambil makanan catering buat disantap di rumah, dan sorenya ngebioskop bareng adik dan kakakku. how special huh?


sekarang uring-uringan, besok stase pagi, qu masih ingin menikmati christmas vibes but since I enjoyed it too much last year so I failed at one dept and I felt fucking miserable so yea


I'm depressed, broke, and haven't finished my lapkas, berkas, etc

upgrading

last week.

that one unforgettable week.



I was fucking fucked up at that time.

I cried inside all the time.


but thank you

I want to be a psychiatrist because of all those things.
at least I saw a little light in front of me. maybe one day it will change, I never know.

thank you. thank you so much.

diarrhea

I don't know why, I'm enjoying my days greet sick children, so they want us to do examination on them. Some of them crying immediately when they see white coat human being, got traumatize by needle. I even found a 5 year-old girl literally cursing when we came to her. Many of them are still babies and quite calm and had such a smiley face. Feeling like this was the another thing to enjoyed.

So.. what's going on? 3 months later to finished this hardcore year evur in my life.

I'm on my quarter-life crisis.

I'm trying to holding on.

Eventhou this is just too hard. like, to, hard.


BUT I MUST KEEP GOIN